i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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