I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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