none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
