Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
