yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
