Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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