Porn is love you can see.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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