How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
