She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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