I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
