If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like the curious george of whores
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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