Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
