Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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