first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
