can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
