He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
His hands were made for my vagina.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
