You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
