Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Randomize
