Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
