help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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