I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
