and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
it glows. i had to have it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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