It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
