then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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