I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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