saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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