Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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