I just gift wrapped bread.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
