THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
my poor anus
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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