So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
