Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
