He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
