was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
