You're so nebulous sometimes
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
