Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
