What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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