for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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