Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
