Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
