there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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