Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
