Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
