kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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