I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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