Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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