god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
