Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
