I just made out with a guy for $7.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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