i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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