thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
pray to the hookup gods
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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