He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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