Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
