Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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