You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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