the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
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there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
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That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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