We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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