When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
