He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vagina is talking i cant
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Just pee around me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
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