I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
