For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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