Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
