His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
