Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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