I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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